blame

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The hardest thing…

Published August 24, 2014 by S. E. Myers

It is hard to let go, however, it is something that I will have to do. 10 months ago I had to ask my daughter and her fiance’ to move out of my home.  She constantly treated me terribly, disrespected me, and used her blog to say horrible things.  Here is her previous blog, just look at the archives from October through November of 2013 – http://lifewithjoeandmarshall.tumblr.com. But, apparently, I’m the one that is delusional.

After her latest post – http://marshallsmomma.tumblr.com entitle “Mother,” I’m done. I read her blog to see pictures of my grandson. I messaged her husband Joe because I want to see my grandson and to let them know that no matter what, they are family and if they needed a place, they wouldn’t be turned away. As a matter of fact, AFTER they moved if they would have EVER come and said that they wanted to move back in I would have let them. But they didn’t believe I would follow through with it according to one of her tumblr posts.

So, I am washing my hands. I am done. Everyone says she will come around but I can’t wait for that anymore. It hurts too much. She believes that everyone else put thoughts into my head but what she forgets is that her and I have had problems for a long time with the way she treated me and  the way she talked to Kathryn.

She never told me that Joe’s unemployment was running out, she never talked to me about “grown-up” things or really talked to me. She gave me attitude. Joe was the middle-man. He was the one that would diffuse the situation when we argued. I respected him for that.

The problem with lies is that the story continually changes. Her story does. She believes that Joe gave me a crap ton of money, he did not. She holds the car accident we were in over my head and believes that the money Joe got from the accident he gave all to me. He didn’t.  Does she realize that because Joe claimed  bodily injury I got more points deducted from my driver’s license? Also, I glanced at HER when the other car in front of me slammed on their breaks. Whatever. An accident is an accident plain and simple. It happens, get over it. I love her phrase “accident that YOU caused” – really? Like it was 3 car pile up and I was driving recklessly. No, I rear ended someone because 2 cars ahead an idiot decided last minute not to go through a light and I was already slowing down.

She forgets that I spent over a grand on her baby shower and I took care of her throughout her pregnancy. I forgave her when she dropped out of school after she didn’t pass the last block and had only the one left. When I was unemployed, I took her to and from that damn school. It ticked me off. She lived with me and didn’t get a job, didn’t go to school but I was her mother and instead of helping her, I enabled her. I should have kicked her out after she dropped out of school.

Aside from all this, I still have my youngest daughter at home and my son who lives with his dad. Illeana has harbored resentment toward her younger sister because she believes she never got into trouble. Not true. But she is going to believe whatever she wants to.

She was asked to moved out because I was done. I brought home Popeye’s chicken and didn’t get her text about boneless chicken. Kathryn was with us in the car and asked for chicken strips and so I got her some. I get home and all of a sudden Illeana flips out about chicken. Seriously. She  became unglued. It wasn’t the first time. She claims this is not the truth. That I had an ulterior motive that included in my husband and his children. She even posted this on a gofundme webpage because her and her husband were having financial problems. Maybe they should have saved more money and not gotten tattoos, I mean, that is the adult thing to do…put your needs last. I always put my needs last.

Yes, I knew my husband 3 months before we were married, but you know what…I  am 40 freaking years old. I knew what I wanted and when you know you know. We are happy and still in love and it has been amazing. He is amazing. ONE argument.  One. That is how many we have had.  Our marriage is healthy,  happy and thriving. Our children get along and love each other. Our household is filled with laughter and the occasional children squabble, but it is amazing.

I don’t know when she will allow me to see my grandson, but, I can’t think about that. I miss him and I love him. The day he was born was one of the best days of my life, aside from the birth of my own children and my wedding day. But, she also says I ruined for her because he had to be born on my schedule. Her doctor is the one that induced her. I didn’t make that decision.

She is going to point  blame in my direction for everything she has had to go through. She brought it all on herself. Maybe if she had apologized instead of continuing to perpetuate things, it would have been different. But she didn’t, she won’t and until she takes part of the blame upon herself, things won’t change.

I think that one of the most irritating things is her claim that I put her on the back burner, or rather her and her sister. She was 20 at the time. Really? Was she still supposed to be one of my children I had to take care of, or could she start being an adult already?

She’s my daughter and I will always love her, but for now, I have to let her go and move on.